When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
