so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
