I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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