Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
