Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize