i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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