Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
