i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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