I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Come see our sink grown plant.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
