can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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