i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
