Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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