8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
