sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
