i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
