I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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