Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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