My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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