Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
