Pants 0. Shit 1.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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