I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize