oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
