...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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