She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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