dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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