So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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