I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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