You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
