does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
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He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
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So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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