The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
