haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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