Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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