thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
