we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
