i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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