Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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