im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
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I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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