Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
