From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
How's work?
Spinning.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
