I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
time to smoke my breakfast
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
you never un-have a 4some
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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