if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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