Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
