check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
