I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
