she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
