Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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