Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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