In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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