i was rollin on her like bob the builder
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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