i think my mom watched the whole time
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
