You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
