I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
