At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
