Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
