i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
