I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
