I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
