I'm drive I can fine osifer
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
