Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
