i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
