so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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