Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
