I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
