he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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